THE TWO HEADED MONSTER

The Two Headed Monster

 

“For every broken heart there is a person who crushed it”. Do you believe that? I do.

Now when I examine the stories of heart break and relationships, there is always one common denominator at the end of the story. The Two Headed Monster. What is the Two Headed Monster you ask? Well that is a man with two heads, one used for thinking and the other for total devastation of the heart. Now, I know what you thinking from the start, why is a man writing a story bashing his own species? Well, because the destruction that men bring to women doesn’t end with women only. I have lost countless guy friends because of the Two Headed Monster . Going all the way back to my years in college, I can remember losing a close friend of mine because of the two monster that I once possessed. I literally was selfish and didn’t care about anyone else except for myself and proceeded to take his girl. Once I did, he found out and we never spoke again. Sometimes I wonder why we as men let the ugly head below the neck ruin us. Can you tell me?

Lets take this Tiger Woods situation for a spin.

 

Now, in defense of Tiger Eldrick Woods, I sympathize for his situation because he is being cast as a villain. I believe that the women involved, who are doing US weekly interviews and smiling all on TMZ should be cast as whores. They knew the man was married with two children and they still proceeded to sleep with him and brag about it to the world. They should be chastised just as much as Woods and I am not seeing that. Yes, he is a billionaire athlete, probably the most famous sports figure on the planet besides Michael Jordan, but that doesn’t give him a mulligan to sleep around with every chick he sees. I won’t go into how stupid I think he was in getting caught, because that will be the butt of the joke for the next 20 years. I just think Tiger was taking over by the Two Headed Monster in him and it showed by looking at some of the women he slept with. 90 percent of this women were decent at best, none of them were more beautiful than his wife and he could have least picked better looking women. I know, he shouldn’t have picked anyone at all, but I am just saying, why put your wife through the most embarrassing moment of her life, sleeping with average women. Where are the Sports Illustrated models or Victoria Secret Angels?

Now I am not a religious man, but I do believe in GOD and sometimes I wonder if he knew what he was creating when he placed the penis on a man. Did he think, this is going to ruin the world or did he say to himself, I am going to be very entertained watching men destroy my precious creation, WOMEN. I like to think that he is shaking his head at his own creation, especially if we are created in his image.

The Two Headed Monster is a very selfish person, he is without thought or feelings. He allows himself the courtesy to do as he is pleased and never deal with the repercussions that comes with his joy. We have children all around the world without fathers because of the Two Headed Monster . There are countless women who have turned lesbian because of the Two Headed Monster . Best friends have become enemies and people have even sadly died because of the two headed monster. No matter how big or how small, the two headed monster clouds our judgment and allows pain and destruction to consume us.

One night of joy can lead to a lifetime of pain and guilt. That is something we all have to deal with, women and men alike, but the Two Headed Monster seems to be like a special needs child or someone with ADD, always looking for attention and never really understanding or listening. That is the problem, I think a man can be mature mentally up top, but below, some men will always be that 13 year old boy who discovered the playboy in his dad briefcase. That is something women and men alike will have to deal with for ages to come, people are the same no matter what year it is. The Two Headed Monster has been around ever since the Ice Ages. I can picture a cave man whacking his friend over the head with a club because of the two headed monster in him. How about Kane and Abel, I am sure the Two Headed Monster caused Kane to slay his own brother over some selfish nonsense.

No matter how rich or how poor, the Two Headed Monster seems destined to be around for eternity. The only thing I can say about it is, we as men need to began the battle. Good Head vs. Bad Head. The victor remains to be seen, but I do know it’s a personal battle. I chose to stay single a lot of years because of the Two Headed Monster in me. I was able to be free of guilt and free of breaking hearts. It was only until recently that I discovered that my head above was more powerful than my head below and for me, that was victory number one.

God Bless

My Thanks To All Single Parents

            I never thought I would ever fully understand how hard it is to raise a child alone. I just thought it was something that life makes you adjust to, no matter what. I have seen women and men, raise children on their own all my life, most of the time it being a woman. I never really cared to think about how much sacrifice and heartache they go thru time after time. I thought I would have to have a child of my own, to really understand the dedication a single parent has to make, to make life normal for a child being the only parent involved…..

            I am not here to bash dead beat parents, who were too cowardly to man up to their responsibilities. That’s not for me to judge. There are many men and women who take full responsibility to raising their child even when they are separated. I am here to honor the people who do it alone and have no complaints about being a single parent…..

            I was raised by my mother and grandmother and never had a father figure in my life. My biological father has been absent 99 percent of it and the memories I do have of him are visiting him in prison when I was a child. I don’t make excuses for my life being difficult because I never had my father present. I think my life may have been different a little bit, if I would have had a father in my life to show me things. For example, how to shave or talk to girls, dribble my first basketball or throw my first right hand punch and attend my graduations. Maybe my life wouldn’t have some holes in it, but I don’t think it would have altered the way I am as a person. I am happy with my life, because my single parent chose to make my life great no matter what…..

            The unspeakable strength that a single parent has, is something that god only knows. Think about the woman who is left to take care of two twins, because her children’s father decided he doesn’t want to be with her anymore, so he leaves her to be with another woman. What about the widow of a firefighter, who is left to take care of her four children after her husband tragically, dies, trying to save a burning building. Where does a single parent get the courage and strength to go on and continue life? How do they keep a smile on their face, when they know it is their sole responsibility to raise the kids? My answer, I don’t know. Whatever it may be, it has to be a special gift from god. ….

            I am 27 years of age and I have no children. I have lived all over the world and I have met countless women time after time raising children on their own. The interesting thing I have noticed about all of these women was the fact that I never heard excuses. Never!!!!!!No matter where I was, Chicago, Las Vegas, San Diego, Phoenix, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Orlando, Minneapolis, Australia, Greece, Malaysia and London, women never made excuses. They took the loss of the chin and kept it moving. It was sad to hear that most of these women were raising children on their own, because a man decided he didn’t want a kid, after he had a significant part in making it. But that didn’t matter to the women I met, they were like, fuck him. My child will be ok and have the best life he could have. To me, I was like, damn, I wish I had that strength. But that’s the special gift that single parent possesses.

    So to all the women and men out there who are doing it alone, I want you to understand that I appreciate you. I respect you more than anyone in the world. You are head above shoulders over anyone else. The strength you have to raise a child go on is a joy to see. You give me courage to go out into the world and achieve anything I want to do. For it is you, that makes the world better. I want you all to know that no matter what, there are people like me out there that understand, respects and appreciate you. You are the true definition of a hero….God Bless

Shallow: The Story of Dave Sanders Part 2

It’s June 2008 and Dave and Curt are now living together in a 3 bedroom, 3 bath penthouse in Beverly Hills. The place was designed for someone looking to impress and that’s what it exactly did. It came equipped with a theatre, Jacuzzi, infinity pool and a gym. With the economy on the down swing, Dave bought the place very cheap, from a famous actor with the last name smith. The place was Dave’s dream home. He never really dreamed of a big mansion with private gates, just something nicer than the 2 bedroom apartment he was raised in.

So Los Angeles was the new home of two of the coolest bachelor’s in town. Dave and Curt hit the clubs constantly in Hollywood on a weekly basis their first month together in Hollywood.  Their favorite spots were Area, Kress, Villa and Cabana Club. All four clubs offered a variety of women that they desired. Curt had a thing for exotic women like Spanish, Persian and Armenian. He thought that Kim Kardashian and her sister’s were the finest things walking. Dave had a different taste in women. He preferred tall and slim with curves. He constantly bragged about dating two Victoria secret models in the past, so his type was of that nature. Color didn’t matter to Dave.  Curt on the other hand, who was black, from the hood didn’t date many African American women. Dave always gave him a hard time about him dating more black women and he was white. Curt laughed it off by saying, “Don’t get mad at me, that white women love me more than your pale ass.”  They were clowns with nothing better to do. They had money (or should I say Dave had money) looks and a youthful soul that reminded you of two friends entering high school.

Time flew by as the two guys partied in LA. They attended red carpet events, Hollywood social parties, Malibu functions and laker games. They met people and gained a popular nickname among Hollywood elite, “The Two Musketeers.”  No one knew what they did or how Dave had money, Curt joked to people that they had won the lottery together. In a way, they did. Dave was not one to brag about his earnings or his money, Curt on the other hand did. Curt was far flashier than Dave was and It showed. Curt who made a nice amount of money playing football, spent all of his money on material things. He bought a Lamborghini with his first big check and has a thing for expensive jewelry and clothes. Curt favorite saying was, “If Jay-Z not wearing it, I don’t want it.”  Dave was simple; he was a jeans and converse type of guy. His idol was Brad Pitt. Not because of his looks, but his demeanor and swagger.  If you saw him out in public, you would never guess he was worth 80 million dollars. This attitude protected him from the wrong type of people. Curt was a loud mouth, he bragged all the time. Whether it was about a car, women or money, he was always competitive, but the 4^th of July would bring a whole new perspective for both Dave and Curt in the form of a woman name Katrina…… To be continued

 

 

A Letter to the woman of my dreams

A Letter to the Woman of my dreams!!!! Where ever you are   Hello, Future This is your future husband writing to you from sunny, California. I may have met you already or you may haven’t came into my life as of now. The reason for this letter is i’ve been thinking about you lot. As the days go by and the economy gets tougher,i sit and think about how my life will be five years from now. In the wake of our soon to be first black president, i can only smile about how great my future may be with you. If money grew on trees, i would get you anything you wanted,but i cant promise you that.. I have goals and dreams of being very successful and well off when i’m older, but i cant promise you that. There are things in life my beautiful lady that are confusing and complicated. I cant promise that things wont be stressful or tough for us in the future. There will be good times and bad times. Vacations, cars, houses, gifts and a big fat wedding ring are all the things i have planned for the woman of my dreams but i cant promise you that. If dreams and wishes were granted for everyone, the world would have been destroyed along time ago. I ask you my lady, to bare with me. I am a man with great pride and ambition. I’m a stubborn man that will find his way to the top.. BUT i cant promise you that i wont fall once i’m there. I ask you to be there to catch me when i fail and be there to kiss me when i prevail. Like i said before, this letter is for my future lady, the one i will never leave, cheat or take for granted. The one who in my eyes is perfect. The one that makes my heart cringe when i think of her. I may have met her already and know her like the back of my hand or she may be some woman that i meet through a friend or at wal-mart buying soap 🙂 i don’t know…. I am human and do not control or know the future. I wont know until the day i decide to get down on one knee.. I told you before, i want you to have the finer things that life has to offer, but i cant promise you that we will have them. But my beautiful angel, There is ONE THING i will promise you. And that one thing is, i will spend my life trying every single day, to live up to what i wrote………..

Learning from life lessons!!!!!

LEARNING FROM LIFE LESSONS!!!!! Current mood:  curious Category: Life   I don’t know how many times in my life i have recovered from a loss. There have been countless times where i had to lick my wounds and keep kicking. I can remember being a kid and my mother making me fight two kids at once in the hood and getting my ass whooped. I didn’t have a chance to win but i fought anyway. I guess its been in my DNA to just keep trying no matter what. My mother had me when she was 14 and did everything in her power to raise me and my other siblings. I really never complained about much as a kid because i understood certain things are the way they are ,but you have the ability to change them if you want to. As i got older i went through more losses, i had a father who wasn’t there in my life much. He was a hero in the hood for the criminal shit he used to do that landed him in and out of jail, but i was never proud of that. I saw kids being taught basketball and football by their dads and i use to envy that. But i understood everything in life is designed for each one of us separate. I remember the first time i discovered basketball. I was in the 5th grade, and i had a friend who was much older that played basketball. One day he asked me to go to the court with him to pass him the ball as he worked on his game. As i helped him work out, he asked me to defend him as he practiced moves. The more and more i tried to stop him, i couldn’t. That lit a fire in my body that comes from my family. We are very competitive. Everyday i went back to the court with him and tried to compete, it just didn’t work. About  year later i loss my cousin who was like a dad to me and he had spent that year teaching me the game. Out of no where i grew about 8 inch’s in a year. My abilities went from none to many and i didn’t lose again. But the lessons i learned was, even without the height and the skills, no matter how much i failed, i kept trying. In high school i was a good student, graduated with honors and passed my ACT test to get into college on the first attempt.  I had many choices to choose from to go play basketball on a full ride scholarship. I chose Indiana because it was close to home and i thought i needed that. My experiences in college are about 90 percent of why i think the way i think now. Sex, money, clubs were all really first time experiences on a regular basis in college. I was a star on campus and i took advantage of all my fame. I had people giving me money, girls throwing themselves at me for no reason, VIP in the clubs even when i wasn’t old enough to get in. I really loved it, but this is about the lesson i learned from it!!!! People love you most of the time when you can do something for them and they need you. When they don’t need you anymore, they move on. I cant remember the last time i heard from one of my college coaches. Not even to say hi, or we miss you… I own several records at my university that wont be broke and that’s how they thank you lol…. I partied like a bitch in college, i don’t know anyone who had a better life in college than me and my teammates… We were like rock stars… But I understood that it was fake love we were getting and that’s why i got my degrees while i was there, i spent five years in college because i blew out my knee my first year, but recovered well. In that year off I told myself, that these people don’t care about you, they care about how many points you can score. So i used every dollar they could spend on summer school and extra classes, by the end of my third year I had one degree. Then I got another one…. The lesson learned there was use them before they use you. After college and up until now, my life has consisted of ups and downs. Family letting you down and friends being fake as hell. For me the most interesting thing that I have witnessed is the way relationship are non existent. Trust is a major issue in anything in life and I don’t blame anyone who cant trust a person, especially someone they are interested in for a relationship. I think trust has to be earned and not given. For so, long I have sat and watched many people be faithful and good to there partners, male and female and just get shitted on. I was that single guy for a long time who said women ain’t shit. I talked to women who lied and said they were single, not married or just dating several times. They were of course lying and cheating on there men. The same goes for the men, I’m not here covering up the men side of the story.. we ain’t shit for the most part as well. But from my experiences, I have never cheated on a woman and never will, I just am disgusted at how people can be that disrespectful to someone that they truly might be all for. Is it human nature to disappoint. I was talking to a friend the other day here in Cali, when he told me, he was sleeping with a married women who is 34 and another girl who is in a relationship for 4 years and they both said there boyfriends are just boring. WOW… Just leave the guy, why cheat on them? What does that say for them and my friend right? I had one memorable episode like that a few years ago when i lived in Phoenix AZ, when i met a women who was very attractive to me. She was this nice Spanish type who was tall and educated. I met here while I was on a job interview. I remember saying i should go say something but I left her alone. But the crazy thing is like a month later i saw her out at a club and we remembered each other. We talked and hit it off and i asked her did she have a man, she said she was talking to someone, but nothing serious. SoI got her number and we talked for a few days and then we decided we would grab some movies and chill. So I went to her house and we kicked it. From what I thought, she lived by herself. One thing led to another and we started messing around, well after all the none of your business details, she got up went to the bathroom and I started being nosy and looking around the house and saw a photo album. I opened it and my heart and soul was crushed!!!! She was married and happily married from what I saw. When she came out, I confronted her and was mad, she sat there and gave a BS excuse why she didn’t tell me and said her husband was in LA at a coaches conference, I left so fast and wanted to drive off the road.  I sat there and said, this man is working hard to provide for him and his family and there she is lying and being unfaithful. She said he was a faithful and good man, but wasn’t fun anymore and when she saw me, I reminded her of him before they were married……..WOW!!! that’s all I can say, whats the life lesson there….I’m still trying to figure it out…..any ideas? Trust, marriage, relationships, I don’t know, my fingers hurt!!!!

Love Me Like A Puppy

Love me like a Puppy

 

What’s the definition of Love? Do you know? Or do you use the word like someone turning on a light switch in a house. That’s what it feels like when people say they love someone. We use the word so much, that it’s played out. “I love my body”, “I love your shirt”, “I love the way that dress fit’s you”, I love this steak”, “I love girls who workout”, “I love how a girl looks in a swimsuit”. Do you see where I’m going here? What ever happen to; I like……

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What is the meaning of Love?….

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Love-strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties or attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers. These are all real definition of the word love. But my favorite definition for love is unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another and the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration…..

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So now that we have the definition out of the way, I want to get to the meaning of my title, Love Me like a Puppy.  We all know what a puppy is right? A young domestic dog; specifically: one less than a year old. The love and attention that people give to a puppy, is the type of love I think a man or a woman should give to their partner. The unconditional love and support that a puppy has is something we should all get from a partner. The fact that our country’s divorce rate is over 50 percent is very sad. The fact that you have many people now; not even wanting to be in relationships is a tragedy. ….

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Let’s put the cute little puppy in context for a moment. Think about having the cutest little puppy in the world at home. Think about when you first get it and how excited you are to tell people about it. You take a thousand photos and tell all your friends and family about it, you want to show if off for the world to see. The smile on your face is never ending, you never want to leave their side just for a moment. When you are at work, all you think about is if that cute little animal got out of its cage, or if you left enough food and water for him in its bowl. Then when you get off work, the first thing you do is rush home to see if it’s okay. When you arrive home, you say its name and rush to see if they are okay. The puppy then looks at you wagging its tail trying to lick you as it runs in circles. It is lovely thing to witness. The love a puppy gets from its owner. ….

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Now let’s put the love a puppy has for you in context. Say you were having a bad day at work. If you came home exhausted or upset with the outcome of your day, does your puppy ignore you? Probably not. It runs up to you ready to play, lick or lay on you. It could care less about how bad your day went, it loves you no matter what. Say you were cheated on by your lover and you came home crying. Does the puppy go in its cage and leave you alone? I’m going to say no once again. The puppy has no judgment against you, just pure love. As a guy, if I went to a bar and got into a fight and got my ass kicked and came home with a bloody nose or a black eye, do you think my puppy will be scared of what I look like? I’m going say no again. The puppy will probably jump on my lap and bark in excitement because I’m home. That is pure Love. The love a puppy has for its owner…..

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So what is my point to this essay you ask? Well my point to this is, not to compare your relationship or future one to a puppy, but to challenge yourself to love the person you say you are committed to like someone who loves their puppy. That is some of the purest love I have ever seen, the love a dog and it owner shares. It’s more than a friendly bond, it’s like a soul connection. Think of the selection process, sometimes it may be fate or sometimes it’s a long selection process of choosing that cute little animal.  The process in which we select our mates are the same way, but we tend to forget steps. No matter what happens when you are involved with someone, I believe if we as people love each other the way we love our puppies, then relationships can work. I know it may sound very pre-school the way I am putting it, but that’s what it is. Because we make things so difficult in relationships and they shouldn’t be. Love your partner like that puppy and see how it turn’s out. ….

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God Bless